You’re My Favorite

After suffering loss, it’s not unusual to go through a period of time where one will seek to find personal value or a place among the grief. To be someone’s “favorite” when a name is spoken, an event is remembered, a thought comes to mind, gives purpose and fulfillment.

My use of a particular phrase, “you’re my favorite,” was birthed from an idiom that is found in Psalms 17:8:
”Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings,”

Oh, how special to be the “apple of the eye,” to be the reason that someone gets a twinkle in an eye, a smile that crosses a face, a bright spot in the day, etc. To be significant as someone who is precious and cherished, held in high regard, very important to the declarer, holding a special place in someone’s heart, and subsequently, never abandoned or discarded.

As I started using the phrase, “you’re my favorite,” it was as a term of endearment toward a select person who I might be talking to as a reminder that this person does something special for me and, to be honest, with hope that it will do the same for them. That the interaction results in a twinkle, a smile and, in general, make life better.

I even programmed my Echo to respond to the question, “Alexa, who’s Nonny’s favorite?” (and taught my grands to ask her the question).
“You, my dear, are Nonny’s favorite. She thinks about you all the time and loves you with all her heart.” is the response the grand would hear.

And then it happened!
My use of the phrase was challenged by one of the grands.

A sweet little 9-year old voice, “Nonny, you tell all of us that we are your favorite, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, actually I do say that to those who are special to me and hold a special place in my heart. Why do you ask?”

“I was just thinking that when you say I am your favorite that someone else cannot be and that would make them sad. And it makes me sad, too.”

[Think fast, Nonny. You have to recover from this. Be smart.]

“Well, sweetie, you see having a favorite does not take away that place for someone else. Because all of my grands are my favorite, sometimes there’s a blank behind the word favorite that is unspoken, it’s a pause where the person I am talking to can fill in the blank and I only say it if it is needed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…if you and your cousin were here and I say, ‘you are my favorite 9-year old,’ it would refer to you, right?”

“Yeeaaahhh…but what about if you said, ‘…my favorite 5-year old…’ who would that be—one of the twins or my brother?”

“So then I will need a second pause for another blank, like ‘my favorite 5-year old who has a sister named Nora’
or ‘my favorite 5-year old boy twin’
or ‘my favorite 5-year old girl’
and each one would still be Nonny’s favorite. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, so you just keep thinking about that person until no one else fills the blank, right?”

“Yes, sweet girl, you have it.”

“Oh that’s good, Nonny. Now I don’t have to feel bad because I am your favorite because everyone has a special place.”

It took this interaction to solidify my use of “you’re my favorite” without reservation because it is true. If you have invested in my world, made me part of your day, read this entire post, “you’re my favorite!” (Let me know if you need me to fill-in-the-blank 🧡)

#livinggrand
#onpurpose
#itsanonnything
#lessonslearned